Thankful heart.

"Just think of all you have to be thankful for."
This is what Bryce told me as I was crying my eyes out. He was right, I knew he was, and I had let my selfish desires and emotions get the best of me. Why was I so upset when I had the the most caring and  selfless husband telling me everything is okay and the most precious baby boy looking at me wondering what the heck happened to his mom that usually has it all together.
Life happened.
Being young and married is difficult, and adding a baby and everything else on top of that makes life stressful and not any easier. That morning it seemed everything hit me at once and I was blaming myself for everything little thing. I had just got off the phone with financial aid and they dropped the bomb of how much money we now owe back because of student loans. On top of that, the realization that we were still living in Bryce's dad's house longer than we intended and everything else in my life that stressed me out finally broke me.
I was mad that I had student loans to pay back and no degree behind it. I was mad at the lady on the phone because she was rude and talked to me like I was an idiot. I was sad that we still didn't have a place of our own. I was frustrated that no matter what we did, it just wan't our time to move out. I was mad at myself for not figuring life out before LJ. I was a million different emotions at one time, except thankful.
The fact that everything in my life, in mine, Bryce's and LJ's life wasn't perfect did not matter. Why? Because life isn't perfect. In fact, I feel the more we try to make it perfect by our own hands the less and less perfect it seems.
I knew I needed a reality check to completely change how I was thinking. I needed to cast my worries at the feet of Jesus.
Why was I so worried about everything that is completely out of my control? By worrying about these things, I totally lost sight of what really mattered:
- I have a God that loves, takes care of me, and will ALWAYS provide.
- I have a husband, who loves me, cares about me, is selfless, is a great dad, and is my best friend.
- I have a beautiful, healthy baby boy who thinks I'm the greatest momma in the world.
- I have amazing friends and family who support me and my family no matter what.
The fact that I was stressing out because of these material things and things that I had no control over suddenly became ridiculous. So, I decided to take Bryce's advice and decided to count my blessings.
Here's a little list of what I'm thankful for:
1. God- Not really sure of how I get through life without his love and grace.
2. My husband- My rock, my everything.
3. LJ- literally the best thing that has happened to me.
4. Family
5. Friends
6. A safe place to live
7. A working car
8. Food on the table
9. My health and the health of my family
10. My dog
The list could go on and on. The more I think about what I have to be thankful for, the less I worry about everything that is not so perfect, because all the things I'm thankful for are the things that really matter. Lj doesn't care that he still shares a room with us or that we don't have a place to call our own, he is perfectly fine. All he needs is his momma and daddy to be happy, and that is what we are. Instead of sulking I will rejoice for I am BLESSED! Blessed to have a perfect family, blessed to be sitting here writing this blog on this beautiful morning, blessed to be loved by an awesome God who provides always.
I am okay now. I am thankful. I am happy. And my life is perfect. I honestly wouldn't change a thing because I know God's plan is the right one. I can't see his plan or what it looks like, but no matter what I will be thankful and rejoice for this is the day that He has made.

Thank you for reading. If you ever are stressed or worn down, think of all things that your thankful for. I hope that by sharing my life I can encourage others. Have a great day!
XOXO,
<3kay